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A Complex World of Emotion: Anxiety and Independence
Over the next several months, your baby will undergo dramatic development. Her emotional world becomes more intricate by the day, a significant development that is accompanied by some challenging emotional stages your baby undergoes.
Stranger Anxiety
Baby’s attachment with her primary caregivers and others in her life becomes deeper. She can now distinguish between people she knows and strangers. Stranger anxiety appears in full force – even causing some babies to burst into tears when they see someone they don’t recognize approach them. Stranger anxiety begins at about five months, reaches its peak between seven and ten months, and gradually fades a few months later.
Separation Anxiety
Your baby is beginning to show signs of separating from you – the first hint of the exciting journey toward independence. As she continues to discover that she is a separate entity, she becomes more in touch with her own desires and needs. With this comes the realization that her parents can also “disappear,” which at first may set off separation anxiety. Many babies compensate through a transitional object (blanket, doll, pacifier, etc). This comforts her when she experiences separation anxiety – at bedtime or when left with a babysitter. Between eight and ten months, when she feels distress, she will probably exhibit a specific preference for one single caregiver, usually her mother. She will be quite insistent until her mother appears to save the day. When this happens, it will be difficult for any other person to offer comfort. Don’t worry – this too will pass!
- Between 6 and 9 months, feelings of fear and anxiety develop.
- From 8 months, cognition and feelings become interconnected.
- Between 8 and 10 months shows preference for primary caregiver in times of distress.
- Understands the significance of particular facial expressions of others and reacts positively or negatively accordingly.
- Let your baby discover things on his own. This will help him develop independence and self-confidence.
- Express the feelings that he may be experiencing. This will help him understand his own feelings. For example, verbalize his feelings: “You are crying now because you miss Daddy,” etc.
- When you need to leave the house, do not try to “escape” without the baby seeing you. This will only serve to increase separation anxiety. Say you are leaving and waive goodbye. You can even explain that you are returning at a certain hour – baby may not understand the words but the tone might offer comfort.
- If your baby adopts a transitional object, respect his need for comfort when you are not there. Be sure to take it with you when you and the baby leave home, when the primary caregiver has to leave for a few hours, or when sleeping outside the home.
