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Your Little Toddler: Independence and Understanding alongside Fears and Frustration
Your child has a developed self-awareness by now and is beginning to understand that she is a person in her own right. She develops preferences, realizes that certain rules govern the world and begins to understand the scope and limits of her control and the impact of her behavior.
Baby has a Will of her Own
The ability to influence the world and cause things to happen directly affects your baby’s self-esteem and development. As your child begins to discover her power, and learns to use it, she will make demands – that you read her a book, push the swing, or give her a cookie. All this is accomplished non-verbally, but the message is very clearly communicated!
Importance of Bond with Caregiver
Baby’s connection with her mother or primary caregiver intensifies at this stage. She feels that she is at the center of the universe and expresses jealousy when she isn’t the main focus of your attention. On the other hand, baby asserts more independence and confidence. The mother or caregiver becomes a secure base from which she explores her world and expands her horizons, and to whom she returns to get a “refill” of encouragement. During this period, separation anxiety manifests itself strongly.
Milestones
- Begins to use the word “no” more and more and sometimes will even say “no” when he means “yes.”
- At 15 months, temper tantrums and frustration appear.
- At 18 months, engages in focused play of up to 15 minutes.
- Stranger anxiety may continue or subside.
Tiny Tips
- Set consistent boundaries to help your toddler feel protected and help him know what to expect.
- Encourage your toddler to express his independence: When he puts out his hands when you bring him a shirt, or wants to feed himself, react with a smile or a hug to express your pleasure.
- Try to minimize using “no” – the more you say “no”, the more your toddler will.
